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I don't know from where this originated, but it's floating all over Facebook and Google+ this morning. And I like it.

How To Ask For What You Want

Here's a bit of psyche mojo for when you have to ask someone for something, like a raise from your boss, or some extra time off from work.

First, make a list of reasons to back up your request. In the case of a raise, come up with all your job-related accomplishments and things you've done that are above and beyond the call of duty. In the case of time off, list all the extra hours you've put in without pay. Include times and dates, and what you were working on. The secret here is to be specific.

Then, when you're actually asking, ask in a strong and straightforward manner. "I've been working hard and I deserve a raise," or, "I put in a lot of extra time, and I want some time off with pay to compensate." Never, ever ask in a weak, roundabout way, like, "Do you think, um, that it would be possible to, say, maybe, consider giving me a raise?" Psychologically, a weak question is easier to dismiss, and you've given them the advantage to laugh it off like you were joking, or simply say "Sorry, not this year."

Now, you've asked your strong, demanding question. Without skipping a beat, follow up by asking for much more than you actually want. This is key, because there's an outside chance that you'll get it, but even more importantly, this gives you room to negotiate down to what you really want.

Next, and before they have a chance to respond to the amount, immediately list off all the reasons that you deserve this thing you're asking for. This will keep them off balance and chip away at their ability to say no. Be calm, not too aggressive -- don't act angry and put them on the defensive -- simply state it all in a matter of fact, earnest voice.

I deserve a raise. I want x number of dollars. I deserve it because yadda yadda yadda.

The most likely response will be, "I can't give you that much, but..." and they'll rattle off a lower amount. You counter with one that's a bit less than your original demand. And, with luck, you negotiate down to your goal.

This works with more than just raises and time off. Use your imagination, and then get what you deserve.

Forgive Yourself

Chronic remorse, as all the moralists agree, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time.

On no account brood over your wrongdoing.

Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.

- Aldous Huxley, A Brave New World

Reading the Universal Dream Page

While reading about Heisenberg's uncertainty principal, it struck me -- as I sure it has many people -- how profound a clue this is to the true nature of reality.

You know when you dream, and you're dreaming that you're reading something, and you can't read it twice because the words constantly change? Have you ever had that experience? It's because the words on the page in your dream are actually your thoughts, and since your thoughts aren't static, they can't remain intact on your dream-page. The words flow and change constantly.

This may be the true nature of the uncertainty principal in physics. You look at the basic particles of reality and they're constantly changing. You can't know how fast they're going, and at the same time know where they are, and they're constantly borrowing energy from the future or past. Just like words flowing willy-nilly over a dream page.

Could it be this way because we're trying to look at our own thoughts, or perhaps God's thoughts? Because reality is a mere dream, whether it be our own, or God's?

Could it be that the Universe itself is sentient? Why not? We are, and we're almost infinitely less complex than the Universe.

Could it be we are the thoughts inside a Universal Mind, thoughts which are trying to see themselves and the Mind which they inhabit? It's akin to a self-aware AI program trying to figure out the true nature of reality from INSIDE the computer that its reality is running on. All it sees are bits and bytes, not the computer chips or wires.

Similarly all we see are random particles popping in and out of existence. We can't see outside the "program" which is the Universe. We can't see the circuits and wires "outside."

But that doesn't mean they're not there.